Communication

In class when we were talkin about the different characteristics of a strong family I related one aspect of communication to an event that happened last weekend. Last weekend I went home to visit my family. I have a seven year old sister who I am very close to. Last weekend we were going to sleep and she told me she had a secret for me. She made me swear I couldn't tell my mom because she thought she would be mad at her. So I let her tell me her story. She confided in me about one of her friends that she caught kissing a little boy. This made me concerned because of her age. I ended up tellin my mom because I was worried. But I felt honored that she could communitcate like that to me.

Family Strengths

In our discussion on what makes a family strong, I kept asking myself, does this really apply to me? Being from a divorced family, I often find myself looking in the past when my parents were together when I think about "my family." When my parents were together, my mom was always the take charge parent and did anything and everything she could for my brother and I. Even though we were the nuclear family before the divorce, I think my mom and I have a stronger "family" now that it's just the two of us. It was like my mom was already the head of the household when my parents were together. It was an easy transition for us as a family when they did get divorced. My mom and I spend more time together and we enjoy each others company more than ever.

I have particular interest in the coping with stress characteristic. Over the past year my dad was diagnosed with cancer. After my parents divorce, they would occasional spend time together, but there was a strong sense of detachment from my mom towards my dad. After my dad's diagnosis, my mom really stepped up to the plate. While I have worked hard to take care of my father, my mom is the person that has helped me the most. Even though my parents are no longer married, it is very clear to me that we still function as a family. Without my mom's care and support, my dad and I would have suffered tremendously.

Post #1 family relationships

I was reading the book and on page 46 it talks about how the family that a person grew up with can really affect the way they interact with there spouse. I had some sort of idea that this is what happened but not the extent that "...poor marital and parent-child relationships predict lower quality and stability in the offspring's long-term intimate relationships." This brought me to the thought that what if someones great-great grandparents didn't have a top-notch relationship with there parents; would the great-great grandchild have a hard time with there parents? Does it pass down to that extent?

tspies-blog 1

After listening to both the information and interaction of Tuesday's lecture, I began to examine my own family as a whole. Although some of my evaluation I find extremely troubling, some is tremendously helpful in appreciating the values or characteristics your own family does possesses.

One characteristic that stuck with me was "Ability to Cope with Stress" As I listened to everyone share about how they had helped their brother through cancer or through a brothers horrific accident...I commended them greatly and respected them even more-most I have whom I had never meet. I was once on the receiving end...needing support. About eight months ago I was in a terrible accident in the Dominican Republic. It was through the whole process of recovery that I become to truly value family. We all go about are lives knowing that our family is there, but when something like this happens you are exposed to everyone's colors: anger, relief etc.

Through this process, I watch my divorced parents compromise; something I had never seen before (in trying to get me life-flighted out of the DR). They were always respectful of each other when deciding what medical course of action was best. Still to this day they are a "working pair" in dealing with the after-effects of my accident.

So although every family is so extremely diverse and could possibly be lacking in one or two characteristics, sometimes you realize just how luck you are.

ktho blog 1

Out of all the class lectures/discussions, I found the one we did Tuesday over strong families to be the most interesting and to some extent controversial. I have always thought that my immediate family was strong, and I still do. We have open communication, commitment, we spend time together, ect. But I also think that a family doesn't need all these to be a strong family either. Every family functions in their own way, every family adapts in their own way. I agree with the first person that added their blog, you can be a strong family without spiritual wellbeing. Also I think that you can be a strong family with just communication, wether that is open, positive, and sometimes negative. It is all about how you express yourself. I know that sometimes when I am stressed or mad I will call home and pretty much just complain and even yell at whoever will listen. The difference is that they know I function like this, and they dont ever take it personal. Secondly, I would have like to ask Stinnett or Defrain or whoever wrote this, "How much time do you need to spend together to be a strong family?" I personally think it just depends, like my family is always on the go, we maybe spend 3-4 nights a week eating together, and we dont have like family game nights every saturday. My dad and I would occassionally watch a sci-fi together late at night, but other than that we all had our own schedules. So I guess a lot of what I am saying is, don't the people in the family really decide if they are a strong family or not? Can it really be measured?

Jan. 27 Lecture

Though I know this class is based on mountains of research and study, I find myself disagreeing with Tuesday's lecture. Not the whole lecture, but a specific part; strong families need to have spiritual unity. I believe my family is strong, in my mind it is and I think the rest of my family would agree, however we don't necessarily have a spiritual unity. We never went to church (none in our town were sufficient and my parents had had bad experiences) or ever really talked about religion. The only hint of spirituality in our household is the bible my dad reads every morning. It doesn't come up in discussion and I don't feel there is a hole in my life. Is there anyone else who has this predicament?

JSol Blog 1 - Policy and the Family Ecosystem

As a pre-law student hoping to represent families in need, I often find myself relating what we learn in class to our government. When we were learning about the family ecological system, I began to wonder how different policies affect families.  For example, Affirmative Action is a far-reaching law that is implemented in employment opportunities, college admission, and other aspects that play into the everyday life of several families.  

We talked briefly in class how laws work their way into our Macro-system, but it is my feeling it does not only stop at the Macro phase.  As I stated before, government can determine accessibility to jobs.  The purpose of Affirmative Action was to equal the 'playing field', thus providing equal opportunities to minority groups that did not have equal opportunity before hand.  The idea of employment falls into the Exo-system and can effect how families operate.  

I realize it does not just stop at Affirmative Action, but I wonder if policy or decisions made by local, state, or national officials can affect the Meso-system, or even the Micro-system.  Just some food for thought, I suppose.  Sorry if it seemed a bit scatter-brained.  

druz blog 1

One thing I took notice to was about gender-role socialization in chapter 2. Out of the three categories of gender-role learning the personality trait is what I most remember growing up. In my house everyone did their part of the chores. My mom did the cooking and just cleaned up around the house. My dad did the laundry and usually the unpleasant jobs like the bathrooms. My siblings and I did basically everything else like our rooms and usually the lawn work.
I was taught that everyone did their part to make the house a better place to live, even if my friends thought it was weird that I had to mow the lawn while my dad did the laundry. I'm sure that if I really wanted to I could have done whatever I chose. My point is that there were no gender-role chores in my family. It didn't matter that in society women are looked at to do the "house chores" while men do the lawn work. I was taught that there is nothing a man can do over a women, or even should do. This will help me I feel as a family consumer science teacher to treat all my students equally, male or female. I probably will have more females in my classes however I won't look at it as unusual if a male student wants to learn how to sew, because I was taught that it doesn't matter what your gender is.

For me I can really relate to the discussion we had today in class, January 27, about strong families. The segment I really noticed that i can associate with is the one of spending time together. My family and I try to make sure we spend plenty of time together to make sure we never lose touch of bonding, such as we eat out on weekends and we make special vacations because now that three of us are in college it's hard to get together. So when we do get that quality time it's very special. I can also relate to the positive communication. My family discusses a lot of problems or just interesting topics. We also make things humorous so that life isn't so tense.

Blog 1

For me personally, I have related and taken most from the discussion of attachment theory. This is my first knowledge and understanding of this theory. I found it most interesting when talking about children with an alcoholic parent. With my father a recovering alcholic I found the traits discussed similiar to ones in my life, my high mistrust in others and quick to abandon any relationship I am in. Now that I am aware of why I felt these things, it is going to tremedously help me in all avenues of my life from personal to professional. Professionally I can develop more trust in myself and others as I enter the work force and purse a dream job because I can realize that I am deserving. Personally, I will be able to build stronger relationships whether with friends, family or sifnificant other. I can also begin to work on my relationship with my father and strengthen myself personally.