sschm blog 14

I found the last lecture a great wrap up and summary to all the things I've learned throughout the semester. I feel like when dealing with my family and current relationships, I am able to break down the process vs the content and understand the underlying meaning behind the process. I was interesting to learn all the traditional responses that we use. It's easy now to see when to use the appropriate responses in certain different situations, and I feel I can easily see when to use the responses. I feel that I can and will be a better listener to others and will be able to give better advice to my friends and family. This class really has changed my view and outlook with all my relationships with my family and friends. I understand and have learned so much about myself and the reason behind my actions. This class wants me to be able to help others to understand their actions and help those that are lost. This class has personally helped me more than any other class I have taken.

Druz blog 13

I wanted to talk about the speaker we had on Tuesday. His approach was informative and interesting which would really help children to take in the information being presented. With a lot of speakers I have heard it is all about plugging the information into kids heads and making them see what are the best choices, but in a way they judge people who have not made proper choices. As a family consumer science teacher I would be able to only teach what the school wants to be taught, but having a speaker like this at the school would be a new and informative, without judging children and the choices they want to make. And it would be what I would want to say, but couldn't.

J Sol Blog 12

CEDARS Speaker- 

So Tuesday we had a speaker come talk to us about CEDARS and juveniles in need.  It was a pretty interesting presentation and I thought it had a very worthwhile cause.  What I found most interesting was his approach on stigmatizing the homeless and comparing that to racism.  I never thought about it like that before, but it is a valid point because the homeless are thought of as second class citizens and often are treated with disrespect.  I don't know if I would put that on the same level as racism, but I can see the similarities.  I thought, overall, he brought a good message and shed light on issues that a lot of people in the class will be dealing with in future careers.  

speaker

When I first heard that we where going to have a speaker I thought that I would be bored out of my mind and the speaker talking about things I learned in high school health class. Thank goodness that this was not the case. I learned so much from this guy, like how people actually become homeless. Most of the time it has to do with something going on in the family, drugs, alcohol, or mental illness. I think that, that is so sad that these people run away thinking they can fix there life but keep falling down. Something else he talked about was how much drugs plays a part in homelessness, especially meth. These people just get so addicted to it and will do anything to have it. And what it does to your body just makes me sick. People will get the crank bugs and just pick away at there skin. Another thing that really struck me was the way he talked about the homeless, as that we treat them less that humans. When he said that it struck a cord, sometimes I think I do and who am I to do that? So from now on I vow never to run away from home, and to put humanity in front of everything. 

Adoption

Our class discussion about adoption interested me greatly. With so many homeless kids in our city, states, and around the world it seems giving your love to a child who hasn't been able to experience the love of a parent would impact their life as well as your own greatly. In class we talked about how adopted kids usually have questions about their biological family. Recently finding out that I have a brother who my mom was forced to put up for adoption at birth, makes me wonder what it would be like with another brother. Sometimes I want to meet him, maybe have a sibling relationship with him, but obviously if neither my mom or him have tried finding each other maybe I am just not supposed to meet him. In my future, when I am married and ready, I am going to adopt a child.

adoption and guest speaker

Both last thursdays and tuesdays class were very moving. I have always assumed I would adopt when I was older and married and I volunteer with younglife (ministry work with teens). Both topics are very close to my heart and I was so happy we talked about them in class. When we talked about the topics they made me more motivated in what I do now with the teens and what I plan on doing when I later adopt. I have always considered going into outreach work for a living and having the guest speaker come in and talk to us about it I felt more sure then ever before that I am called to work with kids (teens or younger) in difficult life situations.

mswi

Adoption

I had always considered adoption as an option when I was ready to have kids. My father was adopted when he was young and he always speaks so highly of his parents, he seems so grateful. My current boyfriend is from Costa Rica, and we have been dating long enough to have talked about kids and such. We played with the idea of adopting from Costa Rica, but after I heard how much it can cost I don't know if we'll be able to afford it!
I also have a friend who thinks its "dumb" to adopt, especially outside the country. It makes me angry when she speaks about adoption like that. It's also upsetting to her roommate who was adopted when she was young. It's hard to understand some people's mind sets.

Guest Speaker

I really enjoyed our guest speaker explaining to us what is actually happening around the lincoln area. Most people might not realize how important it is just for knowledge to be spread around. There are a lot more homeless people out there of all ages that we don't see on our normal day to day life. With his work, I think he explains it to the kids what they are doing and what they might end up to be doing. He really tries to help and he is actually really fit for his job. I loved how he was so active and just wanted us to know everything we could about what he does and also how we can help out. Overall in general I thought he was a great speaker. Just from listening to his presentation I can tell hes great and he loves his job. It's so great just to know there are people out there willing to help others so much and love what they do. Just thinking about all of the expierence he has gotten from working with all different kinds of people is something else. Im glad we had him come to our class, I think knowledge is one of the greatest keys to help others in need.

Homelessness

I really liked our guest speaker on Tuesday, he has spoke in one of my classes before and I truly admire what he does.  I think homelessness is a huge problem that a lot people do not think about in Lincoln.  A point that he brought that I thought was very interesting is that a lot of people discriminate against homeless people with out even knowing it.  When we walk by a homeless person asking for change I know a lot of us say "Why dont you just get a job?"  I think we all need to remember that people who are homeless are people too just like us, but they live a very different lifestyle.  We have to remember that these people have not just simply chosen to be homeless, something has gone seriously wrong that they had to turn to that lifestyle.  The presentation made me so thankful for my family and everyone who has and still does support me.

Guest Speaker

Chris was a great speaker, I think if I was one of the trouble youth his program is directed towards I would have started thinking twice about my lifestyle after hearing him. I knew that Lincoln had a large number of youth homeless, but I didn't really know much more than that. For me, I am more like to see the older homeless males roaming the streets downtown. The pictures that Chris provided in his presentation with the living conditions of runaways were what really made their lives imaginable for me. I can't believe that these runaway teens find themselves living under bridges or in tents in parks. It really made me think about how life with your parents can be so unbearable that you would want to live in crummy conditions in all types of weather. More than anything, I left class thankful that I never got involved with drugs and that I have my family to support me.

Blog # 13 Kste

I have heard this speaker before and I think he is pretty straightforward about what life is like sometimes for troubled people. It's very interesting to listen to him because some of the things he says are very troublesome but we don't actually realize the problems until we see the bad effects. It was interesting to hear how he works with the troubled people and helps them try and to get back on their feet or try to better their futures. He is a very good presenter and he doesn't just sneak around things he tells you like it is. It is scary to see all the people that live under bridges or in alleys etc. and know that they might be trying but just can't catch a break. I think it's very important to have an organization like this helping people.

ktho blog

I really liked having Chris come and speak to our class. I really enjoy listening to people who are very straighforward with what they are trying to present. I also liked the fact that he was open to telling stories and answering any and all questions we had. I especially liked his thoughts on homeless people, because I always give food and money to homeless people, and my friends and family always critisize me for doing so, but like Chris, there is a reason that they are homeless. I just really wish we had more resources for people who have been addicted to drugs, abused, and homeless.

sschm Blog 13

I found the guest speaker on Tuesday really great. The topic is something that currently is affecting my best friend, and something that helped me understand what she's going through. She has began to use drugs and her life has definitely turned for the worse. It's such a hard position to be in and I want nothing more than to help her but I feel there is nothing that I can say or do that make her change her mind. It took me a while to realize that she was seriously using because I didn't want to see it. For a period she would have fallen under the category of "homeless" and was couch surfing. Coming from a well off family and good education, it truly can happen to anyone. I feel like I have just lost my best friend to something that I can't compete against. This isn't the world that I want for me and I'm not playing along with her game which is also distancing our friendship. It's just made me realize that no matter where you are, this is an issue even in Lincoln Nebraska. The addiction affects everyone around the addict, I just wish that they could understand how it affects others.

Adoption/Special needs tspies

First off, Thursday's class gave me a WONDERFUL new perspective on adoption! What a beautiful thing!! I have two close friends who were adopted. One friend was adopted as a infant and one was adopted as a child who had been victim to sexual abuse. Her family has spent much time working with her in dealing with fear and security issues. It takes special families to nourish these issues. However, my friend has grown to be a strong, wonderful adult!! Often times adoption is over-shadowed my the long intense process, but it can create a strong, healthy family environment. Many children need to be rescued from the unsafe environments and brought into loving homes in order to live out the lives God has intended for them. Each story is such an inspiration to those who hope to adopt! Also, in dealing with special needs... there must be a strong family environment and the various systems surronding that children. If a bond is formed in the micro, meso etc. systems anything can happen and any obstacle can be overcome! Adopted children and special needs children can be an instrument in shaping the future of the world!

J Sol Blog 11

Domestic Violence

We have talked at length in this class, as well as in the textbook, about domestic violence.  In another class of mine we are also talking about the effects of domestic abuse.  We were given a prompt that asked if it was ever alright for a man to hit a woman.  It was interesting hearing the wide array of answers, because it is a topic that is very polarized.  Most people, surprisingly, said yes, men can hit women in situations.  The distinguishing factor was how hard the man was striking the woman, and the intent to harm.  I saw my classmates' points that if a woman is hitting a man over and over that a man should be able to stop it someway.  Hitting her back should be a last resort.  We also talked about what the laws in our states say about men hitting women, which was interesting comparing different state laws.  The last part that really stuck with me was when my teacher, who is a woman, said she expects to get hit by guys because she hits them.  She said when you hit someone, it is a reflex to hit them back, and that if you're a woman and you're hitting a guy, his natural instinct is to hit back.  She said the difference was where a guys hits a woman, and, again, the intent behind the hit.

I personally don't think men should hit women, but nonetheless it was an interesting topic of discussion that I wanted to share through the blog.  

Child Abuse

Child abuse is a topic that I feel very strongly about.  I do not have any tolerance for a person who harms a child.  I do not belive people like this should ever be allowed to have a child if they have ever commited child abuse.  I think people who are do this are disgusting and should be thrown in jail for a long time.  I am a early childhood eduacation major and I know sometime in my future career I am going to see some form of child abuse.  The discussion on domestic violence really made realize that even if I have a little suspicion that one of my students is being abused I need to report it.  Our discussion made me realize that when other adults don't do anything about it even if they have a hint it is going on, it just adds to the abuse and further damages the child. 

druz blog 12

The last thing we talked about in class on Tuesday really go me thinking. I have never looked at the meaning of money and I would never have thought to put it into 4 sections. Yet, what I took from class I put into perspective of my own life. The money I make at my job goes back and forth between security and enjoyment. I really need to save money so I don't have to work as much while in school, but rent is not cheap and it is hard to save. However, when I do save enough money I feel like, hey I'm in college I should be out enjoying myself while I still can, so then I go out for the night, or go shopping. I try not to eat out and I usually stay home and watch TV or read but I always think about the quality of life and how I should be enjoying myself at such a young age like my friends. Once I get a job after school I can't go out all the time and I need to be a role model for my students, so I feel like I'm not going to start enjoying to money I make, within reason, and start saving later.

Domestic Violence

Just knowning that 5, 479 children a day in the U.S. are being abused hurts alot. It just doesn't seem right to know and all of the other statistics that go along with it. I know there are ways to help stop this but I just wish there was an easier way to just tell these people to knock it off. I know its just simple enough to not judge but others need to see this. The 2,000 murders by their partners needs to be knocked way down too. If these couples are in a relationship like this, they all need a little help from their friends that know whats happening to them. Friends around these situtaion really need to watch out for the warning signs that they are giving off when in the relationship. The ones in the relationship also need to keep in mind that recovery is possible, its just a little harder to get to. Where I grew up, we were lucky enough to not of had many of these situtations. We were in a smaller community so almost everyone knew everyone, which doesn't mean it never happened, it just wasn't a big thing that was recognized and showed off which is still bad. People should just always be on the look out for abuse especially if your in a profession which involves seeing people everyday.

Domestic violence

I believe that domestic violence is a tricky subject. Kids know that when their parents are abusing them it is wrong, but because they rely on their parents they don't feel like they can do much about the situation. I think kids are scared to seek help because they're scared their parent may hurt them if they find out they have told an outsider how they behave. There are so many adults who are infertile and would want to adopt kids who are not wanted.

Watching the "Concrete Angels" music video was pretty crazy. I was familiar with the song and can remember listening to it when I was in high school. I guess I really never listened to the words and didn't realized what it was about. I had to go home and watch it again and even look up the lyrics. I think the fact that I never picked up on what it was about shows how society has a blind eye to these types of situations.

Divorce

Sorry about my first post i accedentally clicked the enter button. On to my blog. At the beginning of the chapter it talks about different factors that lead to divorce. A person who is well-educated with a decent income, is religious, comes from an intact family, religious, and marries after age 25 without having a baby first chances are lower to have a divorce than others. Some of the reasons listed above seemed like no brainers, but then the one about being 25 and not having a baby kind of shocked me at first that it had that much of an impact in the divorce rate. Maybe we should make a law that says you can’t marry until your 25. I’m kidding, that’s just like telling people to go to marriage counseling before they get married. Yes, it may help sort out problems but as Dr. Hollist said, that these couples aren’t going because they want to go to counseling they are going because they don’t have to pay as much for the marriage license, which defeats the whole purpose of making the couple go in the first place. Going back to being 25, I think this is such a difference than getting married earlier is that people have time to sort out what they want in life; they have also, in most cases, gone and finished school and are getting a grip on their lives. In my mind if you feel like you have started your life then it is perfectly fine to start another one with another person!

Divo

sschm Blog 12

I found the topic of money in the family to be very interesting. When looking at my own family, money has also been a cause of tension for the parents and now I understand why. My dad uses money as a security factor and is always saving because when he was growing up his family was always living pay check to pay check. Now that he has money, he needs the large savings to feel comfortable. I think he always can sometimes use it as a source of status, as a means of keeping ahead. For my mother, she prefers to use it as enjoyment. She spends a lot of her money on others, her friends, her children and others she may not know. This frustrates my dad because he sees it as wasting where my mom enjoys making others happy and spending her money doing enjoyable things. I do think that a blend creates balance, but this combination I see as always having constant conflict, and although it has gotten better, they still struggle with the issue of money and what power it has behind it. I think I will want to be with someone who has a combination, but I realize that I need someone who enjoys spending money on enjoyable things that we can do together, where my father does not like.

Domestic Violence and children

In class last thursday we learned there are approximately 2 million cases of child abuse reported annually. This statistic alone is sad, but to go even farther and think of all the children that are getting abused and not reported every year is even more devestating. Working for Visinet, which is health and human services of Nebraska, doing supervised visitations and transportation I have seen first hand how domestic violence and child abuse affects children. One little boy confided in me how he dad gets "rough" with him, so I called it in. The cops showed up and asked his Dad about the incident, obviously he isn't going to confess, and the boy was sent home stating it was a misunderstanding. After this situation, he was scared I was going to "tell" on him. After telling me random things that didn't have any negitive aspects of, he would ask if I was going to tell anyone. Like we were talking in class, it takes a lot of evidence to help a kid, but I feel better that hopefully since my call, calls after mine will be taken more seriously.

ktho blog

I guess I will continue on with the conversation of money and does it make you happy? In my home situation, the main time my parents disagree is when they are struggling to pay the bills. If we had more money I think my parents would be happier. So I guess money isn’t the only thing that makes you happy, but I definitely think it helps. If I had money I would still raise my kids so that they knew how to work, they would have part-time jobs, and they would know how to clean. I guess I have a biased view of it coming from a middle-lower class family, I think there would have been a lot less stress and disagreements if we had the money to buy what we needed.

finances

when talking about money and its effect on family i felt really blessed. my family is on the wealthy side. my dad is an actuary and my mom is a professor. they both have a great income on their one and together money has never been an issue. My parents hardly ever fight and i don't think i ever heard them arguing about money. both of them share the money they make and both like to use the money it the same way. My parents save the money and we live fairly conservative. We hardly bye anything expensive and when we spend our money it is usually on things for the family such as vacations. i am very blessed to come from a family with money and with parents who agree on how to spend it because it is one less thing for my family to struggle with.

Blog #12 Kste

I have also learned that money is extremely important when going to college. My family sits decently. My dad is a farmer and my mom is nurse. Their income has helped build are socioeconomic status into what it is today. My dad had to work from nothing to get where he is at now. He said that he came out of college with more money then he went in with. Now according to me that is pretty hard to do. But he worked really hard to be where he is at now. But he has always taught me to earn my money for me. He doesn't hand me whatever I want when I want it. He tells me I have to work for it. I have been babysitting since i was like ten and I have had 2 jobs all the way through high school. Don't get me wrong if I was ever in trouble with money he would help me but he really wanted me to learn for myself how important it is to save my money. I'm very careful with how I spend my money now a days just because I know I have earned it myself.

Socioeconomic Diversity-tspies

One thing I have learned in the passed for years with starting college and paying my own bills- Money is extremely important. People say that money does not buy happiness and it doesn't! However, it sure can help and make life a little bit less stressful. When my parents decided to divorce many years ago their main issue was money. One wanted to SAVE, SAVE, SAVE! and one wanted to SPEND, SPEND, SPEND! There has to be a balance in finances and an agreement as to who will work. Many dual-working partners work just as well as families where the father is the primary provider. Also, I understand how so many families fall into debt or poverty. The cost of living as spiked tremendously in the past few years and the current economy does not help. If you have five children at home and it is cheaper for the mom to stay at home than pay for childcare but the family of seven struggles on a single income.- This scenario is quite logical and is apparent in many similar situations. My dad always thought "Busting his butt to barely get by..." Kudos to all the hardworking people who try their hardest to make ends meet!

Socioeconomic Diversity

Finances are a part of everyone's life whether you want to believe it or not. It takes work to manage it and to be able to stay away from debt. It seems that with married couples there are always issues arising that revolve around money...What food to buy, what car to drive, brands of clothing to wear, what schools and activities to put your kids into, etc. The list goes on and managing your money is definitely key to being able to do the things you want. When we spoke in class today about the meaning of money it never occurred to me that there were many different ways to look at it. Now that they are listed in front of me it seems so obvious and also seems to lay out why some married couples fight about it so much. One adult may want to save it for an emergency and the other may want to use it for enjoyment however that may be defined. I think that negotiating with your partner is very important as a couple to figure out what to do with your finances.

JSol Blog 10

Dual Earning Families - 

I thought the reading on families where the mother and father both work was very interesting.  I grew up in a divorced household, and both parents and sets of step parents work.  I thought it was intriguing when the chapter pointed out adapting strategies for families experiencing a change from non-working to working parents.  I guess I never thought it would require a particular strategy to cope with the change, because I was so used to the idea of families working.  I know some friends who had their parents return to the workforce, but they did not seem to take it very hard.  I am interested to ask them, personally, about what they experience and if they had hardships with their mothers or fathers returning to work.  

Family and work

What struck me most when reading chapter 9, was the beginning. The book talked about dealing with dual-earning families and how to balance out work and family. My mom has just recently gotten back into the workforce so its been really hard for my family to adjust. In the book it talks about how one of the maine adaptive strategies is to value family before anything else. With my family I can defiantly see this. My brother is helping out with a lot more house chores and helping my parents get my sister to and from school. But I think one thing that needs to be worked on is valuing time. Our family is very busy, so getting the schedule all smoothed out can be difficult. And getting enough family time is a struggle as well; just getting the family to dinner twice a week can be a challenge in its self. I think though for a dual working family we are doing pretty well, no one seems to fret to much about it; plus no family is perfect. 

Chapter 15 reading jspl

While reading the reasons for infidelity in chapter 15, I found the emotional need interesting. The text said that for many women they get involved with older married men to, perhaps, replace a father. For men, they suggested that men will get involved with older women to fill a nurturing void from his childhood. When I read this, it made me think of cougars. I began thinking about Ashton Kutcher and thought that maybe his marriage to Demi Moore was his way of finding an unmet need he lack while growing up.

The characteristics of abusive spouses is something that should be more well known. I think that many of these characteristics could be seen as warning signs for dating couples early in their relationship. If this information was made more available, then some women could avoid putting themselves in these dangerous relationships.

Blog #11 Kste

Parenting adolescents can be very difficult. My parents had 5 children within the span of 6 years. We are all at the age of testing their patience. They love us no matter what but I do notice the differences that they had in parenting us. My two older brothers were always really good kids and they went out in high school but they never went pass curfew or went every weekend. When I got to high school age I went out way more then my brothers. I always pushed the limits and was late. So their parenting styles changed over time because I was more of a social bug. My younger sister was like my two older brothers. She always hung out with the right people and didn't every cross my mom or dad. Now my younger brother is to that age and he is a lot like me. He has a way stricter curfew and he has to tell mom and dad at all times where he is. I think it's like this because of the example I set for him. I wasn't a very good child I'll admit and they learned from their mistakes with me and now he has it way worse.

when we were talking about parenting adolescents in class on thursday I kept think how well my parents raised both me and my sister. They were able to give us the space we need to grow up, but always had an idea of what was going on in our lives and had control over the parts that were nessisary. I do agree that parents get easier on the youngest then the oldest. my sister is two years older than me and I was able to get away with a lot more things then she was at my same age. I was always able to push the boundaries of curfew more then she was able to. this could also be because my older sister always had a boyfriend and I never dated in highschool

mswi work family spill over

I didn't even have to read about work-family spill over to know what it was. My father had a very stressful job and you could definitely tell when he had a bad day because he brought it home with him. It was really annoying because he would be moody and we couldn't do anything about it, we all had to kind of just deal with it. When my mom had a bad day she just made fun of the people who made her angry that day (haha her bad days were funny). I know that I bring my own stress home from work some days but my friends can get me into a pretty good mood when I see them =)

Parenting Adolescents

I think my parents did a wonderful job parenting me. I always listened to them and when I did mess up I already knew I would be grounded and I would pay for it. Thinking back now, if I would of turned out to be one of the wilder kids, they probably wouldn't of known what to do. They couldn't of stopped me from going out. They could of grounded me, but if I was that wild I would have just not listened and went out anyways. Thats why I think they did so good getting to me when I was little. We both know that I wasn't the perfect little angel, but I did try to always listen to them. I know they know best but sometimes that just conflicts with what I was doing at the time. Their flexibility and connection fit right into how I thought and acted. My parents also blocked a lot of the channels on the tv that they thought I shouldn't be watching, like MTV and channels similar. They actually ended cutting all of our channels down to only 1-16, just so I would want to get out of the house more and be active outside. I guess most of what they tried to do worked out for the best though.

ktho blog

When I look back to my adolescent years I feel sorry for my parents, but I am glad things went the way it did. I really struggled with independence, as the first child my parents had set very strict rules, but I was very adventurous, and did not like being told what to do. It caused a lot of fights and I had a very rocky relationship with my parents for a while. Now that I am older they respect me and understand where I was coming from, and they loosened up a lot on my younger sister, maybe that’s because she doesn’t do anything wrong but still. This is a very hard time for parents and I think the way parents handle the situation can make a really big difference.

tspies-blog- Adolescents

I get a tadbit terrified when I think about having to parent my own children during adolescents.!! :( When I look back on my adolescence it was a terribly difficult time in my life. Other peers can be so cruel when you want to join their group, and they feel that you are not cool enough to do so. I once did a paper on adolescent depression and the facts and figures where astounding! Almost 20% of all American teens have experienced a serious case of depression (National Institute of Health) The causes of depression are highly varied in teen years: low self-esteem, not fitting in, weight gain and body changes, family situations etc. As adolescents struggle to establish their own identity it is hard for a parent to know when to step in and when to step back when risky behaviors come into play. I believe that adolescents is all about safely experimenting with life situations and parents setting reasonable boundaries. My parents allowed me to struggle with friends for me to learn who my true friends were and gave me a flexible boundaries to find myself. Through all the struggles adolescents can find their happiness.

sschm Blog 11

When thinking back to when I was a adolescent, I can't imagine how much of this information I went through, and how hard I made it on my parents. I feel lucky enough to have hard a strong sense to belonging to a group of friends and never really felt left out. I also had very supportive parents, even If i didn't want them to be. I couldn't imagine if I wouldn't have had the friends and in-group feeling which I did. I was very into my life and into my friends and looking back was very egocentric, but now I realize it's exactly what I need at the time. It's amazing that as you grow, at least for me I've found an new important and belonging with in my family and friends, finally finding that balance between the two. Looking back, I think about what my parents must of felt and how it had to hurt them and all i wanted to do was be with my friends and be socializing. Knowing this will make this stage of raising a child more understandable opposed to hurtful. I was the second and last child, so my parents were more or less expecting this behavior.

t-spies Children

I believe that the information is Thursdays and Tuesdays class is in great preparation for the on-set before having children. Though very few individuals in our class have children most people understand the extent of starting a family. I have to raise a "virtual child" in another one of my classes and realize how much decisions impact a child life; however, my child ended up smoking marijuana and in jail. And important thing to remember is it is okay make mistakes as a parent, but you need to have unconditional love for your child, unconditional positive regard "letting them know that you are ALWAYS there for them" and occasional tough love. In the end your child will have more respect for you. Also, you need to teach my example and let them experiene things for themselves. If you try to be authoritative your child we grow up to be unique with a little bit of you in-grained in them! :)

JSol Blog 9

Play - 

In class we talked about watching children play and what we can take from their interaction with their peers.  I always thought the observation of people when interacting in their peer group spoke heavily on their character.  This seems to be the same with children, just on a different level.  I found it interesting you could see the parenting style used by the interaction the child uses with their peers.  I think there needs to be deep observation of the child before the assumptions of parenting styles are finalized because you never know what little event can set a child off.  I remember being in pre-school there were some days I just wanted to act out and not listen with no real reason to do so.  I think that would be an interesting topic of research.  

jspl Raising Children

When I was younger I always wanted children without a doubt. The older have become, the more I ride the fence on the issue. A few years back I began questioning having children. I thought that kids would put a damper on my plans for travel and “having fun.” I realized that your idea of fun changes once you have kids. Part of the reason I don’t want to have children is because I am afraid I will screw them up. When we talked about how some people are afraid they will break the babies they are holding, well I am one of those people. I’m not afraid I will actually break them, but that they are uncomfortable while I hold them, or that I am not supporting their head right. My boyfriend knows this so he has been making me spend more and more time with his nephew so I can have the chance to hold younger babies. As far as correcting children when they do something wrong, I feel like I know the right way to handle the situation, but acting in that manner is another issue for me. For now I am fine with holding other people's babies and may want one later, but I still fear there are too many ways to raise children and that it might not come natural to me.

druz blog 10

One thing that really captured my attention in class on Tuesday was that the function of play for a child is communication. Now that I know this I can look back at the times I babysat or even when I was younger that it is so obvious. Whenever I babysat for this one girl, she would always be babysitting for her doll. I kind of took notes on what she wanted to do by what she was doing with her doll. When her doll was hungry, it was time to eat. When the doll needed to go to the bathroom, I figured she did too. I never looked at it as she was communicating but that she just wanted to be like me because what girl doesn't want to be like the person that babysits them, I knew I always did and was by babysitters shadow. This will really help me in my profession as an educator. Even though I will be teaching high school, and those students don't really play, maybe I could pick up from their actions as a way of communication rather than just seeing the basic picture like I would have originally.

sschm blog 10

I found it very interesting when talking about families with young children, the functions and meanings behind children's actions. It's something that I never realized was so complicated with their actions meaning something different. It makes me realize how hard parenting really is. I just watched the movie Marley and Me and this clearly showed the mom struggling with the three children and keeping her sanity. But she developed an authoritative style of parenting and developed a real connection with her children. I'm lucky to have had the same experiences with my own parents, where they created an environment of safe learning and non judgemental growing up. I think this will push me to be a better parent when or if I decide to take that role. Understanding what your children are trying to communication through different outlets is important to be able to decode and process their real meaning. I will look to teach not tell.

Children

Children have always been a topic of debate between my mom and I. I told her that she probably will not be having grandchildren from me and she thinks that is an irrational decision. It might very well be, being that I am only nineteen but sometimes children are not for everyone. It’s so true that children really do become your job once they are born. And sometimes that is too much for people. Yes, children are cute, but usually when they are not your own. I might not sound so illogical right now but if I do someday decide to have children I would want to teach them all the things that they are going to need to know. And like discussed in class you have to let them learn from their mistakes and teach them in ways that they will understand and not just show them. I also believe that autonomy is so important, again letting the child figure out what is right for them. I don’t know, maybe kids aren’t so bad after all.

ktho blog

I always enjoy the class discussions and topics, but I find myself being very traditional when thinking about raising my own children. I want my kids to be disciplined and know the boundaries, and I don’t think that will restrict their independence. I was very surprised to hear all the comments about how spanking or slapping a child was wrong and child abuse. I know as a child there were times when I deserved a good spank on the butt, and I plan to use the same practices when I have kids of my own. There is a difference between child abuse and spanking an unruly child. For whoever doesn’t think that children should get spanked, they should spend a weekend with my younger brother. He is now at the age that when my dad spanks him, he simply replies “that didn’t hurt you old man”. Which is somewhat funny, but I got a good “spankin” as a child, and I think I turned out just fine.

Families with Young Children

In class on tuesday, I really liked how we talked about all of the children and parents getting along. The part about how kids like to dress themselves is true in so many ways. You can see it every day in real life and also in the movies. The best thing is to just let them wear what they want to wear. Parents really just need to understand that autonomy is more important than the social norm. Kids will learn on their own what is right and wrong. Yes sometimes along the way they will need help, but for the most part they will figure things out by themselves. The best way for them to learn is to let them do and to try. They need to let life happen for them to remember and have it locked into their brain. But parents also can't forget to be the parents, they will need some help along the way. All you need to do is let them make the path.

Blog #10 Kste

I like the dicussion about Families with young children. It was interesting about the part of playing and teaching. I think it is very interesting when children are playing because they play with such an imagination that I think you kind of lose as you get older. They sometimes act like moms, princesses, or farmers which can generally happen in real life. But they also sometimes act like animals, cars, or superheros. The have that sense of doing whatever they want and being whatever they want. I also thought the part about teaching was very interesting. I think children do typically learn by doing. For example I was babysiting one day and I told the little girl to not touch the burner on the stove as I cooked the macaroni. I left to go help another one of the children get a toy. I went back to the kitchen to see the little girl holding her fingers. I asked her if she touched the pan and she said no. I asked her again and told her I wouldn't get mad. She said yes and then I took her to the bathroom to run cold water over it. It shows that she really didn't know that it would hurt until she tried it herself.

Anger

I found our discussion on conflict resolution to be very interesting.  We started talking about the myths of anger and conflict.  I hope I am not the only one, but honestly I thought some of these myths were true!  For example anger is caused by others.  I have always thought that other people were making me angry, but really I was just letting them make me angry.  I think this is very important to remember, because really only you can make yourself angry.  Another one of the myths I thought was true, is the best way to deal with anger is to let it out.  After we talked about this in class I realized this statement is completely untrue.  I think if people were expected to let out their anger the way they wanted to, we would have a much more violent society than we already do.  I do think it is important for people to remember if they are angry about something it is important to handle it in a healthly mature way.  Another important fact about anger that I need to remember is we do not think clearly when we are angry.  It is best not to make important decisions when we are angry.  

ktho blog

I think the most interesting classes yet have been the ones over conflict and conflict resolution. It really helps to hear and learn about conflict in my personal relationship. I have realized the "dance" category that I am. I also found it very interesting to learn that the number and level of fights is irrelevant in determining happy couples. The only thing is that it is hard to focus on the process and how we fight instead of what we fight about. I also find it true about homeostasis, once you start to fight a certain way it is really hard to change that.

jspli Conflict Resultion

The discussion of conflict resolution made me realize that the severity of the fight is unimportant, rather its about how well the couple interacts when they are not fighting. It is also important to that the conflict gets resolved and not just pushed aside. This made me think about one of my previous relationships. My ex-boyfriend and I would have the same fight over and over. Thursday discussion made me realize that we never really resolved the issue we were fighting about. So then when a new argument came about, we always brought up past arguments. In this relationship I also felt like my opinion didn't matter. When we did argue, I was always interrupted and never felt like he could see my side of the argument. Know how make arguments healthy and how important it is to come to an understanding when resolving it will help me to make fighting "successful" in future relationships.

conflicts

when talking about conflict resolution last thrusday i was very interested with the graph that was drawn on the board. my whole life i believed the couple that was the happiest was the couple who hardly fought and when they did it was very small, probably because my parents (to my knowledge) have a great relationship and hardly fight. my sister however and her boyfriend fight all the time. about little things, about big thing, and about everything in between. my mom and i have agreed from the start of my sisters relationship that because they fight so much they are not a good couple and should break up. however after thursdays class i started to think about my sisters and her boyfriends fights. yes they fight a lot, but i realized they are an example of one of those couples who can get up to 80 and go back to 0. i have realized that even though my sister and her boyfriend fight and my parents never fight both of their relationships are possibly very good relationships.

sschm Blog 9

When talking about conflict resolution on Thursday, It was so interesting to realize how I have dealt with resolving conflict in my relationships. I was a victim of focusing solely on the content of the fight opposed to the process. I would repeat the same fight over and over again, not understanding why I couldn't be resolved. I had fallen into a pattern of constant ups and downs, but the relationship was incapable of successfully making all the way down. When thinking about fighting, it always has a negative connotation associated with it, and It was interesting to realize that it's not about how intense or how frequent you may have conflict, although constantly may not be healthy, but it's how you resolve and communicate to a level of happiness. It has already helped me when dealing with current conflict in my life. I step back now and watch why I'm creating this conflict and the reasons behind why I need to feel a certain way. It's going to make my relationships more successfully and happier.

Being infertile in a fertile world

In chapter 11 there is a section that talks about infertility. I think this is such a huge topic right now because in today’s society so many women are having babies. This is very prevalent in the celebrity scene, people see that Angelina Jolie is having babies and think that they should get pregnant as well. Now I’m not saying that every couple thinks this but it does cause for some thought. When reading this part of the chapter all I thought about was the movie Juno, where a teenage girl gets pregnant and decides to give it up for adoption. The couple that is adopting the baby talks about how they have been in this situation before but the biological mother decided to keep the baby. You can tell the emotional strain that it puts on this family. Whenever the couple is together in the movie they act really awkward towards each other. I could see how being infertile can put a damper on the relationship, because all you would think about is how you need to get pregnant, now! Sex wouldn’t even be enjoyable anymore because the only reason you would try to have sex is to get pregnant. Something that really surprised me in the reading is how it talks about how males have just as much responsibility for the couple being infertile as the woman. I had always been under the impression that is was mostly the women, especially the way that society brings it up in our culture with shows like Jon and Kate Plus Eight, or the octo-mom. I think that it is great though that families do care so much about raising children and wanting to start a family; and do whatever it takes.

"The Dance of Anger"-tspies

After Tuesday's class, I began to reflect back on how my parents interacted and later how my stepparents interacted. My dad was always the blamer- no matter what happened "It was NEVER his fault and someone else was ALWAYS to blame" My mother however was always the distancer and wanted to seperate herself from the situation for awhile- and this was quite often. So when I looked at how my parents interacted....the problem was never faced because one person was always blaming someone else and one seperate herself from the issue. Their conflict resolution was low... My stepmother now always nags my dad to face the problem instead of blaming and it seems to work nicely. My stepfather is an overfunctioner and takes charge when my mom wants space. It seems to me as though some styles of dance function better together than others, however if there is love in a relationship hopefully the conflict will always eventually resolve. Also, it reminds me of the movie.. Mr. and Mrs. Smith- both distancers with obviously much stress on the marriage, but once things were laid out on the table the years of problems came to surface.

Blog #9 Kste

When reading Chapter 11 to prepare for Thursday's class I was noticing all the information on birth control. We see in our society today a lot more awareness on birth control. We see the condoms, pills, patches etc. It is really hard to say how I feel about this. Some people have strong beliefs about birth control and they believe in natural birth control such as the rythm method, which is the calender method and knowing the timing and other people feel that it is a way for protecting themselves with something they aren't ready for. But I think it is important to know your calender timing because some people don't take the timing of the month into consideration. I don't think anybody should have to explain themselves for what they do or what they believe. If they feel it's wrong to take birth control then that is their decision. As long as people are aware of the situations then it is completely up to them. I know of some people that say it's completely wrong to take birth control and they degrade sometimes on the people that do take it. It's none of their business and people have the right to make their own decisions.