I'm choosing the lecture from Tuesday, March 3rd regarding Mate selection and more specifically the "Game". I am personally familiar with both the constructive and destructive game playing. I find it absolutely fascinating how easy it is to be caught up in the destructive aspect of it and not even really knowing it repeats numerous times in some relationships. It becomes the "normal" thing to do when some people do it so often. When individuals are being threatened over and over I have noticed people begin to either block it out or chose not to be w/ that person.
Acting like another person can also tear a relationship to threads because sooner or later that individual who is not "being themselves" is going to crash. You can only hold up an image so long before you can not take it anymore. You will not be happy and the other person in the relationship will not know you for who you really are. This lecture kept me attention so well because everything pointed out was so true.
3 comments:
I agree with you when it comes to getting caught up when you are playing the game. Most people don't even notice that they are playing these games with their loved ones and are surprised when it gets broke off. I believe sometimes you should just step back and realize what these games are doing to the relationship before it goes to far. At the beginning the hard to get phase can be a really fun one, but if it keeps going and never ends it is bound to hurt the relationship. Also like you said when people try and put on a fake show just so the opposite sex will be attracted will not keep a relationship going. You should build a relationship with someone who honors what you are about and the things that you like. Being able to recieve happiness and not just give it is how a relationship should work, not just with couples but even with friends and siblings and other realtives. Just by giving a little attention to how you act with those around you can strength all of your bonds with them like the lecture was saying.
I think you both have very interesting things to say, which made me think about my relationship. I feel that I am amazing at "playing the game." I don't even realize when I'm doing it, or that I had been doing it until this class. When I like someone I become a different person for them. I like what they like, when I really don't. Yet, once I get comfortable in the relationship I start to become a whole different person, from who I really am, to even the person I was pretending to be. I think this all goes back to knowing yourself, before you can be in a serious relationship. Even if it's not a romantic relationship, but a relationship with your co-workers, or in my case, my students. You don't want to play a game with students, because I feel they will see right through you and won't respect you because, in a way, you don't respect yourself.
I agree with what you are saying also that people do not even realize that they are playing the game. After class on Tuesday I realized that in almost all my relationships I played games and did not even know it. For some reason I would also push my limits and see how far I could go before that person would become very angry with me. In my previous relationship I did this so much that my ex got so fed up with me always doing stuff that I knew would make him angry that he broke up with me. It was a good thing because I still hadn't realized that this was not a healthy way to see how much a person loves you. In my current relationship, when it first started I did the exact same thing, but then one day I realized why am I doing this to a person that I care about and they obviously care about me. So yes it is very easy to make playing the "game" a habit even when it is very destructive.
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