"The Dance of Anger"-tspies

After Tuesday's class, I began to reflect back on how my parents interacted and later how my stepparents interacted. My dad was always the blamer- no matter what happened "It was NEVER his fault and someone else was ALWAYS to blame" My mother however was always the distancer and wanted to seperate herself from the situation for awhile- and this was quite often. So when I looked at how my parents interacted....the problem was never faced because one person was always blaming someone else and one seperate herself from the issue. Their conflict resolution was low... My stepmother now always nags my dad to face the problem instead of blaming and it seems to work nicely. My stepfather is an overfunctioner and takes charge when my mom wants space. It seems to me as though some styles of dance function better together than others, however if there is love in a relationship hopefully the conflict will always eventually resolve. Also, it reminds me of the movie.. Mr. and Mrs. Smith- both distancers with obviously much stress on the marriage, but once things were laid out on the table the years of problems came to surface.